The Jolly Gardener

A Little Piece of England

Just recently my friend became the proud owner of two acres of land and she is having great enjoyment planning what she will do with it, and I got to thinking what I would do if ever I were that lucky. I used to think that it would be nice to have an orchard with some sheep in it to keep the grass down but then looking after animals is such hard work. So, first decision, no livestock. Instead I would make a pleasure garden.

Very few of us ever have the opportunity to start a garden completely from scratch, we usually inherit someone else’s efforts (I pity the person who takes on my present plot). In my dream the land is a completely blank canvas which I could fill as the mood takes me. Perhaps there would be a single ancient oak in which my man would build me a treehouse where I could write a bestselling novel or just sit and survey my domain. Or perhaps I would leave the treehouse for the children and have a log cabin for myself which would have an open fire and be furnished with old sofas and rugs, somewhere I could sleep if the mood took me. What could be better than waking up in the early morning and stepping barefoot on to the dew laden grass with a steaming cup of tea in my hand?

Of course, the land would have to be extremely well fenced to keep mad dog Charlie enclosed but what fun he would have practising his quartering skills and flushing out the pigeons all day long. Next year, being the Queen’s diamond jubilee, we are being asked to plant lots of trees to mark the occasion, and I certainly would need no encouragement to put in several. I wouldn’t overdo the planting because I would quite like some open space for a lake big enough for a very small boat, a pedalo perhaps. I would not want too much work to do on my land so I would not have a vegetable garden. Yes, I know all the arguments about growing your own but this is my dream and it’s not about hard work so veggies are out, so too are fiddly flower beds which demand too much attention. So, a few trees and shrubs would be allowed but the rest would be grass and I would have one of those sit-on mowers so that I could whizz around cutting it and hopefully not driving into the lake!

The possibilities are endless. I wonder what you would do with your dream two acres. Answers on a postcard please, but you are not allowed to build a house, remember this is green field land.

All good wishes for a joyful Christmas.